So, I've decided that my motivation of late for blogging is pure procrastination. At the moment, I'm procrastinating on cleaning my house by typing up this post. The washer and dryer are both running at the moment, so this still counts as being totally productive, right? ;)
Also - where has this semester gone?!? Just a few more days until Christmas Break! I don't know how I'm going to cope with not hearing crazy things come out of the mouths of teenagers for a couple of weeks...
Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21 | Volume 22 | Volume 23
While playing review Jeopardy...
Student: But, Ms. Hagan, you're not even playing.
Me: Hello! I'm Alex Trebek.
Student: Who is that?
Me: [No words...]
--
Ms. Hagan, I think you should be an Aztec warrior.
--
Also - where has this semester gone?!? Just a few more days until Christmas Break! I don't know how I'm going to cope with not hearing crazy things come out of the mouths of teenagers for a couple of weeks...
Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Volume 21 | Volume 22 | Volume 23
While playing review Jeopardy...
Student: But, Ms. Hagan, you're not even playing.
Me: Hello! I'm Alex Trebek.
Student: Who is that?
Me: [No words...]
--
Ms. Hagan, I think you should be an Aztec warrior.
--
When you were little, did you lick the television when Veggie Tales came on?
#vegetarianteacherprobs
#vegetarianteacherprobs
--
Student: I sound more like a parakeet than a goat.
--
Student: Do you know how many letters are in the word perfect? 7. Do you know what else has 7 letters?
Me: Ms. Hagan.
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, are you Internet famous? Did you know most internet famous people sit at home eating chips and petting their cats? I bet you sit at home eating chips and petting your plants.
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, are you Internet famous? Did you know most internet famous people sit at home eating chips and petting their cats? I bet you sit at home eating chips and petting your plants.
--
Student comment while I was typing:
You sound like a newspaper maker.
--
Really? Math on Halloween?!? That is NOT fair.
Really? Math on Halloween?!? That is NOT fair.
--
Student 1: Do you just go home and sit in your room and do math?
Me: Yes. (Sarcastically)
Student 1: Really?
Me: No. Guys, I really do have a life.
Student 1: Yeah. You have cats.
Student 2: Actually, she has plants. Get it right!
--
Melted cheese fills the crack in a broken heart.
--
If your boyfriend breaks up with you, are you going to start giving us lots of homework?
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, did you know that there are different Americas?
Me: What do you mean there are different Americas?
Student: Guys, Ms. Hagan didn't know that there are three different Americas either.
Me: And, what are the three different Americas?
Student: Well, there's North America, South America, and America America. Did you really not know that?!?
Me: I knew that. Did you just learn that?
Student: Yes. But, what I don't get is why isn't Africa also named America?
--
If I make a B on this quiz, I'm going to kiss you.
--
Student: Look at my arm!
Me: Oh no. What did you do?
Student: Well, I was chasing a donkey down the road on my motorcycle...
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, is it against your religion to wear jeans every day?
Me: No. You do know that teachers are only allowed to wear jeans on Fridays, right?
Student: But, you could still wear pants or slacks. Instead, you wear dresses and skirts every day.
Me: I was wearing slacks yesterday.
Student: The way you dress is old and boring looking.
Me: Okay then...
--
Student 1: How do you spell pedophile?
Student 2: Just google it. I google how to spell pedophile all the time.
--
This isn't a cheat sheet. A cheat sheet would give me the answers. This is a think sheet.
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, I took a picture of your house this weekend.
Me: That's kinda creepy.
Student: Do you want to see?
Me: Sure.
Student: [Shows Picture on Phone]
Me: That's not my house.
Student: Oh, I knew that. But, the house had five cats in the front yard so it made me think of you.
--
Instead of chocolate, your boyfriend could buy you a bouquet of celery.
--
It's not called stalking. It's called following your dreams.
--
Do you know what's dumber than a box of rocks? A box of sticks.
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, I think I need to get a life.
Me: Why?
Student: Because I've started going home and doing math.
--
He's not late; he's fashionably not present.
--
I'd rather eat a human than a cat or dog if I was starving.
--
Student 1: You can't boil stuff in the bath tub.
Student 2: Yes you can. Just our gasoline in and set it on fire.
--
One student to another: He called you "sweetheart." That means he is too old for you. You just got friend-zoned.
--
Student 1: Who's Noah?
Student 2: Noah and the Ark.
Student 1: I've never seen that movie.
Student 2: It's in the Bible.
--
I love kangaroos. They have that pouch. I just want to climb inside that pouch.
--
My gum told me to not listen to you for the next ten minutes.
--
One student to another: If you get that close to my face again, I'm going to assume you want me to kiss you. So, I'm going to lick your face.
--
When you trip and fall and the spaghetti falls out of your pocket...
--
Do you know what I found out? There's a day called Daughter's Day. My parents have been hiding this fact from me. My mom gets Mother's Day, and my dad gets Father's Day. They each get their own special day. I should get my own special day. I mean, I'm so special. I'm like the 2nd Baby Jesus. I'm the Virgin Mary of 2014.
What would you have to do to be in a math play?
You'd have to "addition."
Student 1: Yeah. You have cats.
Student 2: Actually, she has plants. Get it right!
--
Melted cheese fills the crack in a broken heart.
--
If your boyfriend breaks up with you, are you going to start giving us lots of homework?
Student: Ms. Hagan, did you know that there are different Americas?
Me: What do you mean there are different Americas?
Student: Guys, Ms. Hagan didn't know that there are three different Americas either.
Me: And, what are the three different Americas?
Student: Well, there's North America, South America, and America America. Did you really not know that?!?
Me: I knew that. Did you just learn that?
Student: Yes. But, what I don't get is why isn't Africa also named America?
--
If I make a B on this quiz, I'm going to kiss you.
--
Student: Look at my arm!
Me: Oh no. What did you do?
Student: Well, I was chasing a donkey down the road on my motorcycle...
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, is it against your religion to wear jeans every day?
Me: No. You do know that teachers are only allowed to wear jeans on Fridays, right?
Student: But, you could still wear pants or slacks. Instead, you wear dresses and skirts every day.
Me: I was wearing slacks yesterday.
Student: The way you dress is old and boring looking.
Me: Okay then...
--
Student 1: How do you spell pedophile?
Student 2: Just google it. I google how to spell pedophile all the time.
--
This isn't a cheat sheet. A cheat sheet would give me the answers. This is a think sheet.
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, I took a picture of your house this weekend.
Me: That's kinda creepy.
Student: Do you want to see?
Me: Sure.
Student: [Shows Picture on Phone]
Me: That's not my house.
Student: Oh, I knew that. But, the house had five cats in the front yard so it made me think of you.
--
Instead of chocolate, your boyfriend could buy you a bouquet of celery.
--
It's not called stalking. It's called following your dreams.
--
Do you know what's dumber than a box of rocks? A box of sticks.
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, I think I need to get a life.
Me: Why?
Student: Because I've started going home and doing math.
--
He's not late; he's fashionably not present.
--
I'd rather eat a human than a cat or dog if I was starving.
--
Student 1: You can't boil stuff in the bath tub.
Student 2: Yes you can. Just our gasoline in and set it on fire.
--
One student to another: He called you "sweetheart." That means he is too old for you. You just got friend-zoned.
--
Student 1: Who's Noah?
Student 2: Noah and the Ark.
Student 1: I've never seen that movie.
Student 2: It's in the Bible.
--
I love kangaroos. They have that pouch. I just want to climb inside that pouch.
--
My gum told me to not listen to you for the next ten minutes.
--
One student to another: If you get that close to my face again, I'm going to assume you want me to kiss you. So, I'm going to lick your face.
--
When you trip and fall and the spaghetti falls out of your pocket...
--
Do you know what I found out? There's a day called Daughter's Day. My parents have been hiding this fact from me. My mom gets Mother's Day, and my dad gets Father's Day. They each get their own special day. I should get my own special day. I mean, I'm so special. I'm like the 2nd Baby Jesus. I'm the Virgin Mary of 2014.
--
You'd have to "addition."