Things Teenagers Say Volume 13

To see previous volumes of Things Teenagers Say, click below.

Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5  
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12

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Me: More work and less selfies!

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Algebra 2 is probably the math class I learned the most in.  I love the notebooks.  They were my favorite thing.

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Me: I want to be a spy.
Student: You'd be a good one.  No one would ever expect you would be a spy!  

Was that a compliment or an insult?  

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While playing Taboo...

Student 1: This is what you call the person who comes into your house to put carpet down.
Student 2: Carpenter.
Student 1: Yes!
Me: Hold up!  A carpenter doesn't install carpet.  A carpenter is a skilled woodworker.  
Student 1:  It doesn't matter if my clue was right.  All that matters is that I got her to say the right word.  

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My sister said that I have to start calling her my cousin when we are out in public together.  If I don't greet her, "Hey Cousin!", she said she was going to stop talking to me.  

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Student: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Me: Because 7 8 9.  (Seven Ate Nine)
Student: No.  Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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I always make sure I ask a guy at least a few questions about himself before I agree to date him.

Yes, that would be wise!

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Usually, I don't eavesdrop too much on my students' conversations.  But every once in a while, there are those pieces of conversation that just jump out at you.  And, you can't help but listen.  

Student 1: The store across the street turned out to be a lingerie store.
Student 2: A lingerie store?!?
Student 1: Yes
Student 2: You mean a store with like brassieres and stuff?

Hearing a freshman boy use the word "brassiere" was almost too much for me.  He said it like it was the most normal thing to say.  

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You have the cutest cough ever.

Thanks? 

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After getting my hair cut over Spring Break:

You don't look like us anymore.  You actually look like a teacher.

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Student: Do you want to watch this video?
Me: No.
Student: But, it's sick!
Me: If it's sick, I especially don't want to watch it.
Student: You need to update yourself.  Sick means cool and legit.
Me: Oh, so I need to update myself so I can understand your teenage lingo?
Student: Yes!  You need to update to IOS7!

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Me: How do people decide where to drill for oil?
Student: That's easy.  You just look for where the grass is really green!
Me: What?
Student: Good oil grows where the grass is green.

I'm pretty sure that's NOT how it works...

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After taking down all of my decorations and posters for the summer

Your room is naked!  It needs to put some clothes on before it gets charged with indecent exposure!

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Me: What comes to mind when you think of algebra?
Student: Nothing.  Nothing comes to mind because algebra destroyed my mind!

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Me: Would it be possible for a factory to produce negative bicycles?
Student: Yes, if the brand name of the bicycles was negative, a factory could produce negative bicycles.
Me: That's not exactly what I meant, but touche.  

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How long would Ms. Hagan last in a pen with carnivorous pigs?

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We're not friends.  We're giggle buddies.

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After wearing contacts for the first time: 

Contacts make you look more serious.

You have blue eyes!

You don't look as smart when you wear contacts.  

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Ms. Hagan has some smarticles.
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