0 Things Teenagers Say... Volume 1

Year two of teaching has been a lot easier than year one was.  Of course, this year has brought its own unique challenges.  My Algebra 1 students, as a group, struggle much more with mathematics than last year's group.  The number of students we have taking Algebra 2 has tripled since last year.  I'm really excited about what this group of kids will be able to accomplish, but we have some major confidence issues to overcome in the next several months!  I'm teaching statistics for the first time, and I'm learning as my students learn.

It's easier in that I'm teaching in the same school with the same administrators.  I know exactly who to go to when I have a problem.  I know the best time to use the copy machine.  I know what to expect now when it comes to things like homecoming, prom, and graduation.  When I go to a football game, I see a ton of familiar faces.  I don't worry about what I'm going to say when I stand up in front of my students.  I have a reputation for requiring a lot from my students.  I also have a reputation for having a really fun class.    

This year, it seems like my students are saying funnier things than normal.  This probably isn't the case.  What is more likely is that I am paying more attention to what my students are saying instead of being overwhelmed by the newness of everything.  And, I've learned the importance of recording the good moments.  If you don't record the good, it is very easy to become overwhelmed by the bad.  

So, I present to you Volume 1 of Things Teenagers Say:

An actual phone conversation that occurred in my class:

Yes sir, I was calling in regards to renting a tiger for our homecoming float...$5,000 per hour...I don't think so.  Thank you for your time.  

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I feel like God today. 

(Said by a student who was wearing ALL white.)

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I don't like how much homework you're giving us.  I'm about to run out of money...at the teacher's credit union.

(I'm still not sure I quite understand this one...)

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You have pretty handwriting.  Your handwriting on the Smart Board does not look like this!

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While making a concept map over "algebra:"

Ms. Hagan - how do you spell exciting?

E-X-C-I-T-I-N-G.  I'm so glad that you find my class to be exciting!

<Laughter>

There's another word before that word, isn't there?

Yeah - "non."

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I've already missed 20 problems, and we're only on number 14.

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At least you're not like most teachers who drain their students' blood to grade their papers with.

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Ms. Hagan!  Did you see them carry out the dead body?!?

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Me: What is -3-5?

Student: -2

Me: No.

Student: 2

Me: No

Student: 8

Me: No

Student: (exasperated) Is it -8?

Me: YES! 
Student: Well, I thought it was -8 at first, but then I decided that was too mainstream.

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 I feel like I'm in a haunted house whenever I come into your classroom.

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Is "describe" spelled with an "L"?

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Do penguins have ears?

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Do you have a sister?  Because I saw someone who looked EXACTLY like you on television. 

What show were you watching?
What Not to Wear

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Do you know what we should do in class today?  We should find the end of pi!

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I make it clear to my students that I am most definitely not an artist.  But, I don't think they quite believe me until they see me draw for the first time.  Then, that leads to conversations like this: 

Did you draw that while an earthquake was happening?