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What starts with an m, ends with an h, and makes children cry?
Math
One of my Algebra 2 students came up with this joke on his own. I didn't find it very amusing, but I could tell by the laughing that the rest of my class could relate. If I remember correctly, this was said on our first day of polynomial long division...
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Mentally, I'm in the 2020's. But, physically, I'm in 2014.
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I killed the cat, and I don't know how to fix it. Help!
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You've got to follow the rule of math: Please excuse my something something something.
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My graph is so cute!
Best thing to hear from a student during a test!
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My arteries hurt because of you.
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Some of my ellipses look like drunken, squished soldiers.
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You're weird, Ms. Hagan. But, that's okay. I love weird teachers. Weird teachers are more fun.
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Can you smell the number nine?
Yes, yes I can. Now what did I just agree to?!?
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Student: Sometimes I set pencils on fire in my bedroom, and your classroom smells exactly like that.
I don't even want to know!
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Me: I need a week off.
Student: Why? So you can spend it with your cats?
And, for the record, I still don't own a single cat. I have no clue where my students got the idea that I'm a crazy cat lady!
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Tomorrow, I'm going to have the X-Box flu.
So, that's what they call it nowadays when your parents call you in sick when you're not...
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Me: What does the word linear remind you of?
Student: My mom.
Me: Why would the word linear make you think of your mom?
Student: My mom gave birth to me. Everything makes me think of her.
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Somewhere along the way, I started putting lines through my z's without realizing it.
Another convert. I started putting lines through my z's because of my 8th grade Algebra 1 teacher. Now, students are putting lines through their z's because of me!
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Student: Their brains were hurting just like mine.
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Can you smell the number nine?
Yes, yes I can. Now what did I just agree to?!?
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Student: It smells like burning wood in here.
Me: What?I don't even want to know!
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Me: I need a week off.
Student: Why? So you can spend it with your cats?
And, for the record, I still don't own a single cat. I have no clue where my students got the idea that I'm a crazy cat lady!
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Tomorrow, I'm going to have the X-Box flu.
So, that's what they call it nowadays when your parents call you in sick when you're not...
--
Me: What does the word linear remind you of?
Student: My mom.
Me: Why would the word linear make you think of your mom?
Student: My mom gave birth to me. Everything makes me think of her.
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Somewhere along the way, I started putting lines through my z's without realizing it.
Another convert. I started putting lines through my z's because of my 8th grade Algebra 1 teacher. Now, students are putting lines through their z's because of me!
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Student: I was explaining the quadratic formula to my family.
Me: Oh, and what did they think?Student: Their brains were hurting just like mine.