Because my students have been complaining that I haven't posted any new things teenagers say lately... And, I don't want them to be sad every time they go to my blog and find no new posts.
For the rest of you, I promise that one of these days I'll find time to post some actual math teacher-y content. Let's just say life and grad school have been keeping me busy, busy. :)
Previous Volumes:
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Ms. Hagan, did you go to squiggly bracket school? Because you draw them so well.
--
For the rest of you, I promise that one of these days I'll find time to post some actual math teacher-y content. Let's just say life and grad school have been keeping me busy, busy. :)
Volume 1 | Volume 2 | Volume 3 | Volume 4 | Volume 5
Volume 6 | Volume 7 | Volume 8 | Volume 9 | Volume 10
Volume 11 | Volume 12 | Volume 13 | Volume 14 | Volume 15
Volume 16 | Volume 17 | Volume 18 | Volume 19 | Volume 20
Ms. Hagan, did you go to squiggly bracket school? Because you draw them so well.
--
Student: Why are you eating deer food?
Me: What are you talking about?
Student: That - it's deer food.
Me: Those are pretzels. I'm pretty sure those are people food.
--
--
Student: Why is the time on your clock wrong?
Me: I don't know.
Student: Maybe a murderer came in here and changed it.
I'm sure that's the explanation...
--
I'm sure that's the explanation...
--
I went over and talked to him like civilized civilians.
--
Student: Do you hear that ringing sound?
Me: That's the telephone in the teacher's lounge. It's directly on the other side of the wall from where you're sitting.
Student: Do you ever go and answer the phone in the teacher's lounge?
Me: No.
Student: Why not? It could be ISIS calling.
--
--
Student: Do you hear that ringing sound?
Me: That's the telephone in the teacher's lounge. It's directly on the other side of the wall from where you're sitting.
Student: Do you ever go and answer the phone in the teacher's lounge?
Me: No.
Student: Why not? It could be ISIS calling.
--
Me: I killed a mouse in my house this weekend.
Student: You mean your cat killed a mouse this weekend.
Me: Guys, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't have a cat.
Student: That's right. You have cats. Plural.
--
Me: Guys, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't have a cat.
Student: That's right. You have cats. Plural.
--
Does math ever just make you want to punch a baby in the face?
--
--
If I pull out duct tape, don't worry. I'm not going to hurt anybody.
--
--
If you'd give me the answers, I wouldn't call you a "cat lady."
--
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, you have a different voice when you're talking on the phone. It's high-pitched and preppy.
Me: Okay...
Student: It's okay. I do the same thing when I'm ordering my food at Sonic.
--
Student: It's okay. I do the same thing when I'm ordering my food at Sonic.
--
Ms. Hagan, if your twitter followers saw how dirty your classroom was, they would not approve.
#OUCH
--
#OUCH
--
Student: I don't understand how you can't eat meat. It's the circle of life. I mean, God gave us meat to eat.
Me: God also gave us vegetables to eat.
Student: If God wanted you to be a rabbit, he would have made you a rabbit.
--
--
Me: What did you do this weekend?
Student: I got stuck under my house for a couple of hours with a dead squirrel and a couple of snakes.
--
--
Me: I'm going to go refill my water bottle while you start this problem.
Student: Don't drown in the water fountain.
--
Did you write equations on the candy you gave out for Halloween?
--
--
Did you write equations on the candy you gave out for Halloween?
--
They're skipping class. You need to get your bell and go all Pi Girl on them.
--
--
Student: Ms. Hagan, how good is your sexual vocabulary?
Me: So, that's not a question you should be asking your math teacher.
Student: Well, somebody called me this name. And, I'm not sure what it means. But, I don't want to say it out loud in case it means something bad and you know what it means and I get in trouble.
Me: That's what google is for.
Me: So, that's not a question you should be asking your math teacher.
Student: Well, somebody called me this name. And, I'm not sure what it means. But, I don't want to say it out loud in case it means something bad and you know what it means and I get in trouble.
Me: That's what google is for.
--
When my students won't quit talking, I will often stand silently until everyone stops talking...
When my students won't quit talking, I will often stand silently until everyone stops talking...
Student: Ms. Hagan, I don't like it when you give us the silent treatment.
Me: I don't like it when you give me the non-silent treatment.
--
During Friday Funnies:
--
During Friday Funnies:
Me: What do you have if you have 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other hand?
Student: Well, you definitely don't have scurvy.
--
--
Did you stick the poster to the door with bubble gum? Ewwww!
That would be sticky tack...
--
That would be sticky tack...
--
I bet you scared a lot of kids on Halloween. You probably made them answer math questions to get candy. Or, you really scared them by giving out math worksheets.
--
--
Hey, do you know how to cut someone else's finger off?
--
--
Hey guys, have you ever wondered what Ms. Hagan's children would look like if she had an affair with the principal?
That would be a NO.
--
That would be a NO.
--
I found a random bobby pin on the floor, so I'm going to turn it into a shank.