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What not to say to your teacher:
Student 1: Ms. Hagan, how do you have so many twitter followers?
Me: What can I say? People just like me.
Student 2: And, how are cooler on twitter than you are in class?
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Student: You're evil. But, you're a sweet kind of evil.
Me: Thanks???
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After introducing my function machines to my Algebra 1 students:
Student: Did you know that naming things like this is a sign that you're going crazy?
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You should date my brother. He's an old soul just like you.
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My boyfriend kisses like a jellyfish.
TMI.
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Student: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Me: No.
Student: I haven't vacuumed my carpet in seven years.
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Student: If you change the N to a W, it would say "Class Worms."
Me: Thank you for that wonderful insight.
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We should make algebra a contact sport. When somebody gets something wrong, their desk should get tackled.
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Student 1: Do you know what I did this morning? I couldn't find my belt, so I decided to use a bungee cord to hold up my pants.
Student 2: You can use a bungee cord for anything!
Me: I don't even think I own a bungee cord.
Student 2: What type of person doesn't own a bungee cord?
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Did you know looking at your phone can give you a double chin?
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How can I make my leg wake up other than telling it to wake up? Because I told it to wake up, and it didn't work.
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Student: What happens if you swallow a bug?
Me: You die.
Student: [Gasp] I think I just swallowed a bug.
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All day long, I heard, "But, Ms. Hagan! It's not Friday!" when students walked in the classroom. I didn't say it was Friday. I said it was "Baby Friday." Yeah, I'm not sure they fully comprehended my message. It did lead to some interesting comments.
Student: Shouldn't it be called Teenage Friday?
Me: What?
Student: Baby Friday should actually be called Teenage Friday. Then, Wednesday could be Baby Friday. Thursday could be Teenage Friday. And Friday could just be Friday.
Another Student: Baby Friday? I think the lack of meat is going to your head.
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On a Thursday...
Student: Guys! It's one day early to be making fun of Ms. Hagan's jokes.
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Ms. Hagan, I heard your boyfriend broke up with you because he found out you were a teacher. Is that true?
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Note to self. Do not tell jokes about vampires and teachers unless you want to be accused of being a vampire. Rookie mistake.
Me: What do you get if you cross a vampire and a teacher?
Student: Ms. Hagan
(and in another class)
Me: What do you get if you cross a vampire and a teacher?
Student: A Math Teacher
Me: Guys, do you really think I'm a vampire?
Student: I bet you sleep in a coffin.
Another Student: Maybe this is why we never see you outside the school.
Yet Another Student: Your legs do kinda remind me of a vampire's legs. They're so white, almost like porcelain.
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#TMC14 was held at Jenks High School. The other day, some of my students were hypothesizing what it would be like to go there.
Student: Can you imagine what it would be like to go to a school like Jenks? I bet their hallway is like a Calvin Klein runway show.
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The ag teacher told me how you teach. You teach in such a way that we don't realize we're learning stuff. We just come to class and think we're having fun. But, you're actually teaching us math! Good job Ms. Hagan!